Better to Serve in Heaven
by Humbly Interpreting
Summary: Dick looked at Tim and tried to clear his head. Bruce, after everything and all the years had dropped Jason with the cops and left it at that. Even Bruce could say enough was enough.


Better to Serve in Heaven

This is an impromptu sequel that will remain as long as readers feel it is good enough to stand with its predecessor. I just couldn't get this story out of my system and needed to write it out but I'm not positive this was any good xp

~Humbly Interpreting

Sequel to God's ChosenJason

It had been hours since the Gotham City Police had picked up Jason. He was getting bored with the repetitive questions that he refused the answer and Gordon refused to give up on. But even Gordon couldn't come up with anything to keep Jason being that there wasn't any evidence that he had done anything. Batman had simply left a call for the police to pick up a figure at the cemetery in "distress."

Gordon wanted information but wasn't getting any.

"Who are you?"

"Who wants to know?"

"What were you doing in the cemetary?"

"Love the scenery there. My second favorite place in Gotham."

"Who attacked you that Batman called you in?"

"Would you believe me if I said 'Satan's spawn'?" Jason grinned, his face revealed but still wearing a mask.

The Commissioner and everyone else from GCPD had no clue he was Jason Todd, the **late** Jason Todd. It had been years and no one would just assume his identity. They would merely presume he held an uncanny resemblance or that he reminded them of someone, an older Jason Todd perhaps?

"Well, there's nothing to keep you here so you're free to go once you check at the front desk and retrieve your things." Gordon informed with a frustrated sigh. He turned and left.

"Finally." Jason breathed.

Jason found himself standing outside the police station in the dark. It was a cool fall night and the wind was picking up. He smiled as other nights such as this fluttered back into his mind.

"_The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.."  
>-John Milton<em>

_Funny how memories of things that use to make me happy only keep me in hell now…_

Jason remembered various readings he had been pushed into. Not only because he had been in advanced classes in school but also because it was the belief that elevated reading elevated the mind. Being a street kid he hadn't exactly had access to the resources Bruce was able to offer when he took him in. After all, he had a role to take on and big green slipper boots to fill. He had been behind academically in so many ways but he had never been stupid. He had been _encouraged_ to read anything he could and he took to Milton like a baby to milk.

Paradise Lost had always been a source of intrigue for him but ever since his "restoration" it had come to mean more. It was his life's philosophy.

Dick…days after the incident

"Explain to me what your plans are." Barbara sighed into her monitor as Dick stared back at her.

"I don't really have any…." He tried to turn her away from the topic again.

Truth was he didn't really have any. Sure, he had an idea in mind of how he would like things to go but nothing was certain. Bruce was realistic, Jason was tragic, Tim was the cynic, and Damian was…well Damian. Dick had always been the optimist. He knew him and Jason would never be close brothers but still….he had to _try. _He had to find Jason and settle this.

"Dick, he _just_ tried to kill you." She argued.

"Its not the first time." He threw back more harshly than he meant to. He felt like he was on trial. "And I've always been able to handle it."

"Well then why are you doing this? Bruce finally cut the cord and you never really.."

"Liked Jason?"

"That's not what I meant."

"But its what everyone has always thought."

"Even if that were true that doesn't mean you have to take on the guilt Bruce is finally starting to let go of!" 

"That isn't why I did it."

"Why you want to go behind Bruce's and everyone else's back after all this to see Jason? If that's not the reason I would really like to know what is. You keep saying it's 'complicated' but you seem to forget I'm really good with 'complicated'."

"Barbara." He cautioned, voice taking on an eerie likeness to Bruce's.

"You're going to have to explain it eventually…to **someone**. You should be resting not doing…_this._"

"What do you have to explain?" A knock came to the door after the voice wafted in.

"Tim!" Dick and Barbara both exclaimed.

Dick moved and shut his laptop that sat on his nightstand. Barbara would try to contact him later. The issue needed to be resolved and he knew she'd be part of its resolution.

"Hi, Dick, how's it goin'?" Tim grinned.

Tim noticed Dick adjusting his flannel pajama shirt and caught a glimpse of shiny black and Tim had always had a close, brotherly relationship. It had suffered in recent events because of difference in beliefs and opinions. Bruce was back and both former Robins hoped to mend whatever wounds were still in their relationship. Truth and honesty would be the first things both men would have to start on.

"Oh, you know, same old same old." Dick smiled.

"Yeah, I heard you got beat up and shot only to watch Jason nearly kill Damian. I can see how that would be tedious for you." Tim quipped as he came into the room and pulled a chair up to the bed to talk.

Tim loved Dick. They're brothers in every way but blood. Aside from Bruce, Dick was the one person Tim trusted with everything and looked to for guidance in the field. Dick needed to trust him with whatever he was planning.

Dick's daredevil nature was nothing new and his current injuries weren't because Dick had been sloppy but Tim still resented the fact he hadn't been there. Red Robin should have been there. Batman needed Robin, what matter did it make _what _Robin it was?

"Now, what were you and former Batgirl discussing?" Tim knew Dick didn't want to talk about it. He also knew he would get Dick to talk one way or another.

"I bailed Jason out."

Chapter 2

It had been four days since the entire incident with Jason. Tim had come home just in time to see Dick tucked up in bed and with severe injuries. He was awake and talking but still forced to stay in bed. Tim remembered his conversation from earlier that night.

"**What**?" Tim thundered as he got on his feet, knocking the chair out from behind him.

"Jason's out and I need to talk to him. Bruce and Damian may be done with him but I'm not." Dick replied, averting his eyes.

"What do you mean you aren't done with him?" Tim cautiously continued with his questioning as he paced the room.

"Jason started this with some obsession with making me more like Bruce. I guess it worked because I can't let this go."

"You can't take what he was saying seriously…wait…what exactly _did_ he say?"

"It was….about circumstances….loss." Dick sighed, looking exhausted and much younger than he was, helpless. "He wanted to kill Damian just to make me into the monster he believes Gotham needs."

With new understanding Tim picked his chair up and sat down. He was looking at his older brother and friend in a way that Dick didn't like. It was like they had never known each other or Dick was someone who needed protection. He was a kid all over again with hovering adults believing he was incompetent.

"To lose a robin would make me like Bruce…" Dick added softly, hating his own voice.

He hated his confusion about Jason. He wanted to settle things. He couldn't just go on without knowing why everything with Jason was like this. In a way, Jason had succeeded. Where Bruce had dropped the burden of guilt over Jason, Dick had picked it up and ran with it.

Maybe he had always been Bruce's partner even when he wasn't. Bruce had beat himself up over Jason but so had Dick. He had taken special care to train Tim and now Damian. Robin was one thing Dick was an expert about above all else and he hadn't really…been around for Jason.

Dick was good at several things. He wasn't perfect but he tried. He had been good at being Batman's second. He hadn't decided to avoid Jason, it had been a tough time for everyone. He had been busy with The Teen Titans but now things were different. Being Batman was different. His disillusionment with the Jason situation stirred too much up.

"You don't think you can be Batman?"

"I know I can't be _his _Batman. I can't be Bruce, I already tried. I never could because I _had_ Bruce to guide me. Also, I never had the same…stuff in me. I was Robin for a reason Tim. I was good at being Bruce's…opposite. The good cop."

"But you can't think you have nothing of him in you. The good stuff I mean. You're a detective, maybe not the same or as good as I am." Tim grinned, trying to get Dick to relax so he could get to the bottom of all this mess in Dick's head.

"I can fight, observe, experiment…but before I could distance myself from Batman because I was Nightwing. Now I _am_ Batman and I have to deal with things that are Batman's problems. I accept that but I still have to do them _my_ way."

"You're really stuck on this."

"Yes, I guess I am." Dick ran a hand through his hair.

"I just can't shake this…this thing in me. This feeling that we're all missing something about this whole situation. I have to get to the bottom of this thing with Jason."

"Dick, c'mon you have to let this go! Bruce finally washed his hands of this and Damian will kill the guy if he ever sees him again. I don't like the little hell spawn but I do agree with his sentiment."

"You want me to _stop_ an investigation?"

"It is not an investigation, Dick, it is some misguided mission."

Dick looked at Tim and tried to clear his head. Bruce, after everything and all the years had dropped Jason with the cops and left it at that. Even Bruce could say enough was enough. Barbara was reeling from Jason's attack on her systems. Tim and Damian actually agreed with each other on the case of Jason. Dick was the one who was the loose canon.

"Did Alfred tell you everything?" Dick asked after moments of quiet.

"Didn't have to. Most of it I got from Bruce and Damian's argument when I got in."

"Arguing? About what? They were settling down about all this I thought."

"You and Jason. How they each want to handle all this. Bruce is still having a hard time taming the little hellion." Tim could see Dick was still struggling with something. "What else?"

"Jason compared Bruce to God." Dick sighed.

"Frightening that he made that parallel." Tim rested his elbows against his legs.

"The end of all learning is to know God, and out of that knowledge to love and imitate Him." 

"John Milton." Tim replied as he looked at Dick with close scrutiny.

"What if Jason was making me like Bruce so he could study how he could be."

"You were going to be his experiment? But Damian mentioned something about Jason wanting Bruce to pick between you and Damian."

"Barbara thinks that would have just been a plus for Jason. It started with him mumbling about sacrifice and bloodshed for God. He was too focused on Damian, I had to get his attention. From there he wanted me to hurt…wanted Bruce to."

"You blew his plans to smithereens." Tim reasoned as he breathed deep and sat back to explain his train of thought. "It sounds like he had the whole thing planned out from Barbara to you, Damian, and Bruce. He had to have known you'd argue for Damian."

"No…I was out for a while. Its not that I don't think he wanted an audience to watch him kill Damian but he wanted to make me a _real_ Batman."

"His _real_ emotions got involved when you woke up and interrupted." Tim mumbled before standing when Alfred came in with a tray of soup and mint tea.

Bruce

"He's been released, Father."

"I'm not surprised."

"He's bound to cause more trouble."

"And we'll handle it when he does."

"How was he let out so soon? It hardly seems like enough time to thoroughly question him."

"He wouldn't have given them anything."

"Gordon would be more determined."

"And Jason more antagonistic."

"So he's free."

"Seems so." Bruce replied as he pulled his own Batman mask from his face. Despite there being several Batmen now he was still one of a kind and the image of Bruce Wayne coming out from under Batman never ceased to amaze.

"But he's still in Gotham. Why?" Damian questioned aloud as he looked at Police footage Bruce was currently viewing.

"I have an idea." Bruce shot a quick glance upward to signal the person who Jason might be interested in still.

"Grayson." Damian asked in astonishment. "Unfinished business he didn't handle the other night then?"

"I am going to find out." Bruce stood and moved away from his chair in one fluid motion and stormed past his biological son.

Damian watched as his father's figure move away from him in a swirling pattern of black material and brooding darkness. He wanted to follow him but he wouldn't just yet.

Jason

Jason walked down the dark alleys of Gotham in deep thought. He wasn't quite ready to take off or start something else with the Batclan, but soon. He had an invitation after all. For now he was just strolling down memory lane in the darkest recesses of the worst city.

"**Loneliness is the first thing which God's eye named not good."**

Batman needs Robin.

"**Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light."**

The path is hard but the mission matters.

"**He who reigns within himself and rules his passions, desires, and fears is more than a king." **

Self-control, self-discipline, and self-sacrifice are necessary for the mission. Once these are mastered the mission is able to be accomplished.

"**I will not deny but that the best apology against false accusers is silence and sufferance, and honest deeds set against dishonest words."  
><strong>

Regardless what the outside world thinks the mission is the greater good and must be handled with the utmost care and commitment. The methods justify the means.

"**What hath night to do with sleep?"**

Stalk the night and use it to protect yourself as you work to protect others.

These rules and way of life flew through Jason's head. Lines from John Milton's _Paradise Lost_ played through his mind like a soft melody, intertwining with Batman's law. He remembered Bruce's training and the few short years of partnership he had worked hard to succeed and hold onto when the lines shifted with his attitude.

**"Solitude sometimes is best society."**

It is better to be alone sometimes. Bruce pushed him away or shut him out….going to everyone else including Richard Grayson (who had left him in the first place).

"**If not Victory, revenge! "**

Never allowed to kill but the whole mission was about revenge. Batman came from death so why not exist in it?

"Farewell Hope, and with Hope farewell Fear"

Jason had been rough around the edges and always would be that way but he hadn't been…a _bad_ kid. He had been fearless but when Joker got him and he was sure there was no hope…fear was worthless. He was dead.

"**Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven."**

Out of the ashes where one Jason had been buried he had risen. New and improved if not just altered. New thoughts and beliefs that would create tension and push him to craziness and unbelievable actions. Being the black sheep of the Batfam was hard since black was such a popular color.

Jason found himself outside a small dive bar downtown. He figured while he was there he'd enjoy himself. He had happened upon the place by "chance." It was simple really, God had wanted him to be there. He grinned as he walked in ready to raise some hell.

Dick and Bruce

"You CONTACTED him?" Bruce roared as he stared down his first ward. Ward, not son!

"Yes, I did." Dick looked at his mentor. Mentor, not father!

"Have you lost your MIND?" Bruce stomped around the room.

"No, just some blood. But I did get a couple broken ribs. Thanks for asking." Dick glared back.

Tim, Alfred, and Damian stood in the room like helpless deer staring down a freight train one way and was about to hit by an 18-wheeler on the other.

"Don't get smart with me R-" Bruce broke off, face red. He glanced to his audience and cleared his throat. He hadn't been thinking to call him 'Richard' but something else and it had been too long. "You had no right to interfere."

Then, Dick lost it. His emotions rose as Bruce's calmed and he took up the reigns of the argument before Bruce could ever hope to get them back.

"NO RIGHT! I sure as HELL DID! I was the one there! I was the one he wanted to torture, to make like YOU! I have a RIGHT to know WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"HE TOLD YOU THAT!" Bruce barked back.

Dick growled back, wincing. He had shifted too fast while pulling on his boots. He was suiting up and everyone else was having a fit. He couldn't blame them but they couldn't stop him either.

"He confronted you before, this was just more drastic." Bruce's voice was firm but subdued.

"But he was working another case when Barbara had tracked him down and picked him up. He was involving Batman's Rogue Gallery. _Your_ Rogue Gallery. He's KILLING them, Bruce!"

"Taking a college class…." Bruce sighed as he walked to the other side of the room. "He's fixated on education it seems."

Tim stepped in to break the tension and settle everyone down. Damian had looked like he was about to do the same. It was terrifying how similar their minds were working today.

"You're done with him." Dick breathed at last.

"You never began." Bruce met Dick's eyes with fierce ones of his own.

"You too huh?" Dick smiled bitterly. "Babs said the same thing. This is just me feeling guilty right? Guilt over being a shitty brother? But being stupid and putting everyone else in danger?"

"NO! Damn it Dick! You're putting YOU in danger." Bruce bellowed once again as Tim grabbed for his arm to take him outside the room.

Dick looked away as if the words had hit him too hard. Damian stood by while Alfred moved to check Dick's bandages but Dick moved away. He hadn't gone for the cowl but something else all together. It was black with blue finger stripes. Jason wasn't dealing with Bruce so why should he deal with Batman? Then again, it would be too easy to fall back into old habits. Batman would be meeting with Jason tonight. Batman just wouldn't be Bruce.

"I'm fine Alfie." Dick sighed tiredly as he tore off his Nightwing suit and moved for his cape. He disposed of his domino mask in a box in the closet.

"I should say not, sir."

Dick smiled as he watched Alfred move to pour another cup of tea for him and hand it over. He knew Alfred would supply his own lecture eventually. Bruce had never learned that Alfred's soft urging moved him to the desired behavior rather than Bruce's loud bellowing.

"Guess you're right, Alf, but I have to do it."

"I suppose you think so, sir."

"If he's after me then I should handle it."

"Even in your current condition, Master Dick?"

"I've been worse."

"Yes, I know." Alfred replied pointedly. Images of a twleve year old nearly beaten to death struck the elder man.

Dick just couldn't win. They were all angry with him now and he couldn't blame them but what Jason had started and Bruce had moved to ignore Dick would finish.

"I'm not Bruce, Alfred. I don't do things in black and white. I'm more of….a gray area guy. Jason wants something from me and he has a hard time getting it. I guess because I still don't know exactly what it is. But I'm a good talker." He smiled catching Alfred's eye. "I've always been pretty good at getting information in my own way."

"I just hope it's not your last accomplishment, Master Dick." Alfred huffed as he left the room, a glaring Damian not far behind.

"**Never can true reconcilement grow where wounds of deadly hate have pierced so deep..." **

Dick thought this as memories of old assigned readings came to mind. He knew what everyone else knew but understood them differently. Every Robin was different and an individual. No two Robins were alike. Even Tim and Dick were very different though they were close. However, their training had been similar. Fighting skills, acrobatics, and the access to knowledge they'd been given.

"Jason wants to know things Bruce can't even tell him. Not because he can't but he won't. But I will." Dick whispered aloud to himself as he stared at the window while pulling on his gauntlets and gloves.

"**Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties."**

Dick sometimes hated how different he was compared to other members of the Batfamily but then those were just temporary lapses of self-consciousness. Most times he loved being unique and being the one deemed the "talker" or the "glue that held them together." It was because he wasn't afraid to dig deep and do the real heavy emotional work of understanding everyone's problems. Bruce ignored it, Tim shoved it deep inside himself, Damian was only just tapping into it, and Alfred could only be so aware of them all the time. With the girls around less and less they all talked less and less. Dick had to nip this in the bud before it got _worse_.

With Tim back he'd be another target and just because Damian was stronger than Jason didn't mean he didn't have another bullet with his name on it. Bruce's body might be safe but his mind and soul were what was in danger if Jason continued this. They just didn't get it. Sometimes a punch didn't do nearly as much good as a word.

"**Who overcomes By force, hath overcome but half his foe."**

**Chapter 3**

_Jason_

Jason sighed and looked up into the night sky. He had been wandering around for a few more hours now and it was nearly dawn. Just the last night he had been ready to slit a brother's throat to suffer an older one and his father's wrath.

"Speaking of older brother…" He grinned to himself and took a deep breath of cool air. "Its time I visit said brother." **  
><strong>

"**This horror will grow mild, this darkness light." **

"It never gets any easier. Not so much harder, but just the same." Tim sighed as he stood outside Dick's room, pressing his back against the wall and folding his arms.

"Maybe for _you_, Drake."

Tim sighed, rolling his eyes. He supposed their "truce" was over, but it couldn't be helped. It had actually lasted longer than suspected.

"Yes, Damian, once again _I_ am the incompetent."

"And you think Grayson is?" He asked with irritation.

"No, I don't. I simply think he is taking an unnecessary risk."

"Its nothing new."

"No….its not…." Tim sighed again, thinking back on various instances that Dick's ability to take risks and succeed was what made him **the** Robin.

"But I also think he was stupid." Damian scoffed as he slid down the wall into a sitting position.

"Ah, so you're also keeping watch then?" Tim grinned, looking the younger boy over.

"If I don't who will keep the idiot from getting himself killed?"

Tim smiled then, a real true smile. Another Robin watching out for their Batman. In Damian's own way he was **the** Robin's Robin. He stood his ground against Batman and used his own powers of deduction to make decisions and move to action.

"He's going to be angry."

"Then we'll be even. I not very happy with him about this." Damian replied as he moved and started towards his room to suit up.

"**Thou canst not touch the freedom of my mind."**

"Hello Dickie Bird."

"Jason."

Jason came in through the window having just scaled the side of the building. Neither man was deluded enough to think their conversation wouldn't eventually be interrupted or overheard but they had a few moments to speak freely between the two of them.

"Thanks for the invite."

"This wasn't where I had in mind for us to talk."

"Oh, yeah, right, some Gotham city building top? Nah, not my scene anymore really."

"Right. I guess I _did_ invite you one way or another."

"Gee, thanks. I'm no genius but I'm still pretty sure you'll come to regret it." Jason spat his "thank you" with a smugness that turned Dick inside out.

"Yeah…you're probably right." Dick stopped dressing and dropped the rest of his costume into the closet.

Dick stood in black boots and a gray suit that hugged every angle of him. His reply was enough to send Jason lunging for him to grab the front of his shirt and hurt him again.

"Then **why**?"

"Let's just say I felt I had to."

Their eyes met and both set in determined fury. Dick wanted this once to be proven wrong about someone. He wanted Jason to prove himself to be the boy Bruce had chosen. The kid Bruce had seen with so much potential to become something great. Jason was boiling over with rage because he knew he couldn't be that person regardless of how many chances he was given. Jason was wrong. There is always a choice.

"Left something unsettled? Guilty conscience?"

"Maybe. You?" Dick shot back as Jason let him go.

"You're all hypocrites! Ridiculously self-righteous."

"And you use to be one of us. You're even more arrogant after Ghul got to you."

"I'm ready to do what is needed!"

"Which is killing us to take over and kill _**more**_ people? Jason, people can change!"

"_He_ doesn't think so!" Jason pointed towards the door.

"I'm NOT HIM! You said so yourself. I'm perfectly capable of having my own opinions and I think people can change if they're given the chance and they take it!"

"Such a little saint. Jesus Christ here to save poor little Judas again!"

"Oh, stuff the religious crap you've been clinging to. Its just the justification for all this mess you've started up again! I can't argue with you over this anymore Jason! This is it!"

"All or nothing, huh?"

"More or less."

Chapter 4"Our cure, to be no more; sad cure! "

"So what, you give me a list of good kid To Do's and when I check everything off I'm back in as part of the family?"

"More like you **don't** do certain things."

"I won't say I'm wrong."

"Actions speak louder than words, Jason. Think whatever you like but you know the one line you can't cross again."

"Nope, sorry, too late. I like my way." Jason smiled darkly.

"Jason." Dick warned.

"No, you see, you need me like this. You all need me like this. I'm a reminder, a cautionary tale. I'm what you would all be if certain things hadn't happened or HAD happened to you. If Alfred wouldn't have been there for Bruce, if Bruce for you, you for _Tim_." Jason growled out.

Dick acknowledged a long time ago that certain Robins had been better….prepared for this life when they had been helped by himself. He was the master after all. He had Bruce's knowledge but his own Robin experience to teach others and his social skills made it possible for him to teach each Robin uniquely. Jason had sorely missed the mark because Dick had been too wrapped up in things with the Titans and the tension with Bruce kept him away more than it didn't. He was blaming himself again.

Maybe Bruce had been right to drop this after all. It ate away until you couldn't do your job, make decisions. Dick didn't want this hollow pit in his stomach anymore than Bruce did. Once again, Dick understood that Bruce may have washed his hands of the situation but he'd never been done with Jason. Bruce would always feel too much and never express it. Would he ever let this go? No, probably not. As different as he and Bruce were they were alike in many things.

"Every family has one right?" Jason taunted.

With no response from Dick, Jason moved to leave. A moment after he slipped through the window Tim and Damian came in, Alfred and Bruce not far behind. Tim was half dressed in his Red Robin get up and Damian was just putting his mask on.

"He showed up." Alfred.

"Yes."

"He didn't hurt you?" Tim.

"No."

"Nothing's changed." Bruce.

"No, I don't think so."

"Good riddance." Damian.

With no compromise made these past hours the family is led to believe that they will always be stuck in this strange place between love and hate with their lost brother. Dick will always be the first and "favorite." Tim will always be the successful replacement and brother. Damian will always be the youngest and biological son. Bruce will always be Batman and have to act accordingly. Alfred would always be there to help each one along even if he didn't agree.

**"Our state cannot be severed, we are one./One flesh; to lose thee were to lose myself…So dear I love them that with them all deaths I could endure, without them live no life."**

((Line altered slightly. "So dear I love _him_ that with _him_ all deaths I could endure, without _him_ live no life."))

I hope everyone enjoyed this and that it made sense.

I just love the angst but it has an underlying love and tenderness about it. I just read All Star Batman and Robin last night and the retelling was…wow. It was dark and edgy and tragic and graphic but I still think it shows small glimpses of Bruce Wayne/Batman with a young (though 12 in this version) Robin/Dick Grayson.

Batman might be a hardass but he cares deeply for people and those around him. He may not show it particularly well or in what most would call a normal way but he's definitely not heartless. I mean, any human being who can use his millions to save people, putting his all too mortal body in danger dozen of times in a night for people he doesn't even know is DEFINITELY a hero love you Batman!


End file.
